This weekend, I hit the wall. I've never felt as bad, physically and emotionally, as I did Saturday night and Sunday. Hubs kept looking at me, asking what was wrong. "Everything", I'd moan...curl up into a little ball and cry.
I felt awful physically...like any moment I was going to keel over with the flu or some unknown virus that wipes you of energy and leaves you an achy mess on the couch.
Emotionally, I didn't know where I was going. I didn't understand myself...poor hubs...
O.k. so to update on my last post; I do have thyroid disease. A second blood draw and another doctor confirmed my levels are way out of the normal range.
Thyroid Disease 101:
My OB's nurse was mistaken when she told me I had hyperthyroidism...I have the opposite, hypothyroidism. It was an honest mistake. It is pretty confusing...I am on information overload.
The blood draw they took two weeks ago measured my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) levels, which is released by your pituitary gland and tells your thyroid how much thyroid hormones (T3 and T4 are the two key ones) to produce. Apparently my TSH levels are really high (which is why the nurse thought I had hyperthyroidism). This means that my thyroid is not producing the right amount of T3 or T4 hormones, which was confirmed by my second blood draw on Friday. So, I have an under active thyroid.
I asked my GP why it seemed like I was experiencing a lot of the symptoms associated with hyperthyroidism, instead of hypothyroidism. The response I got was pretty much what I expected...everyone is different and will react differently to a drop or increase in thyroid hormones.
He started me on a middle of the line dose of a synthetic thyroid hormone on Friday, which I will take the rest of my life.
He couldn't tell me why I developed thyroid disease, but my good friend L. has a theory which seems to fit. A lot of women will develop thyroid problems after the birth of a baby (postpartum thyroid disease).
So, if you've recently had a baby, you should probably have your TSH levels checked. You could be feeling like crap for many other reasons, besides grief.
Here is a checklist of symptoms/risk factors of thyroid disease, which may be helpful.
(Disclaimer: Please don't freak out about whether or not you may have this too, just get a blood test and maybe, like me, you could be feeling better with the help of a magic little blue pill...a synthetic thyroid hormone).
The good new is that thyroid disease is easily managed, even though it means taking a pill everyday for the rest of my life (I'm officially old now)...I'll just need to have my TSH levels checked periodically to see if I need a different dosage of medication.
I don't know what this means for my reproductive future...I have yet to talk to my OB about all of the new developments, but I expect that he will do everything he can in order to make sure I am confident in his care.
I have a very good friend who has hypothyroidism...she keeps telling me good, positive stories of hypothyroidism babies (her little babe is one too)...
I will hold on to what the Bible says...that God loves me and I can trust him....
I trust him because we have been reconciled through Christ to him and we are no longer enemies, but his children. I trust him, not because I know all things turn out well, or because I know all my babies will live if I trust him...but because...if he sent his one, his only Son to die in my place...where else can I go...who else loves me like this?
And when I feel incapable of trusting him, I know Christ has already done it for me...and I can trust, with the little trust that I have.
Romans 5: 6-11
For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.
For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.
More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.