Thursday, April 9, 2009

Daydreams and the Reality

Sunlight danced off his face as he looked over at me, raised his arms in the air and shrieked, “Dance, momma! Dance!”
I picked up my little 17 month old toddling boy and danced. We danced in circles, his arms in the air catching the wind and mine wrapped tightly around his waist. I breathed in his sweet baby smells- the familiar scent of cheerios and grass filled my nose.
Contentment swirled around us there in the front lawn. Just another day in our lives- an ordinary and wonderful day.



Instead.


Instead I planned a trip to his grave today.


But mercy rolls off me in waves as I daydream about what might have been.
This weekend, we remember His death and celebrate His resurrection. Because of His sacrifice, my son is not dead. My son is alive and well and yes- I plan a trip to his grave, but I know he’s not there. I know he lives fully in Heaven with Him who died and ROSE again for me.


And I know we will dance together some day.

6 comments:

Charity said...

Praise God that we have the hope of knowing we will see our sweet babies again!

Amy said...

I can totally imagine your little Owen bouncing to the music and dancing with his mama! He dances with you in your heart. I know it is not the same though...

Mrs. H said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mrs. H said...

You know I had a similar prayer today. I receive a daily prayer email for my (living) child which read today: "Thank God that Jesus died on the cross and was made alive again so your child could be resurrected, too. (See 1 Corinthians 15:12-13.)" But my mind continued in prayer to extend to the idea (that I had never thought of before) that b/c of His sacrifice my (stillborn) son was already in Heaven as well. Amazing sacrifice. Amazing thought. Thank you for sharing.

Tonya said...

Rejoicing with you that because of Jesus' resurrection, our boys only knew and will only know pure love - forever! Can't wait for the day that we will dance forever and the tears will be no more! Missing Owen with you...
Love,
Tonya

Keisha Valentina said...

This may be hard to watch but I thought of this today (Good Friday) while reading your post.

http://kvalentina.wordpress.com/2009/04/10/a-mothers-perspective/

Praying and remembering Owen today.

Love you.

Keisha