Sunday, April 26, 2009

Hope...?


Having one of those days where everything feels so hopeless.
_____

I miss my little boy. I wish that I was taking pictures of my two men together today, instead of going through pictures from 18 months ago- the only pictures we have of our son.

I am thankful for the time we spent with him, for the pictures we have, for the 36 weeks of memories and the joy he brought into our lives...but today is one of those days where nothing can console me. I miss him.






Heavenly Father, I am growing weary of this life, the trials, the loss, the pain. I am having a hard time believing that you care about us and know how we feel. Your Word tells me of your steadfast love. Please, please help me trust your Word.
I believe, please help my unbelief.

I want to crawl into your lap and feel your tenderness and comfort. I want to forget the things that draw my attention away from you and just rest. Just be with you.
I am not the only one who feels this way. Will you gather us all up and hold us, Heavenly Father? We need you. We desperately need you, but find that when we need you the most, we so often turn away because we're afraid and hurting. We are your forgetful little sheep. Please gather us up and take care of us. We entrust ourselves to you, because you say you are faithful and you cannot lie. Thank you for your Son.
In His name we pray. Amen.

8 comments:

Anna said...

Amen.

Your Owen is so precious. I too wish you were taking photos of him and your Hubs today. My heart aches with you.

Lots of hugs & love tonight,
Anna

Tonya said...

Amen. That's all I can say.

Love you,
Tonya

Zil said...

It is a tough day for you. Sending you strength.

Keisha Valentina said...

Amen.

Praying for you tonight sweet sister.

Love, Keisha

Rachel said...

Praying that comfort and hope seems a little more tangible this morning!

Miranda said...

I love that picture of Chris and Owen. Owen is such a little handsome man. You write so beautifully. There are so many days that I feel the exact same way. Just exhausted from the emptiness. I look forward to meeting with you again!

Love,
Miranda

Ebe said...

Thanks everybody.

I really, really needed your prayers yesterday. And they were felt.

love to you all!
ebe

Ruth said...

I need to go through my Ren's pictures and finish them but I keep putting it off but feel it hanging over me. I miss him so much. I guess part of me doesn't want to believe. I truly appreciate your calling out to God. I understand your struggle. Your trust and faithful is just a wonderful and gracefilled testimony to our great GOD.