I often wonder if the people in my 'real life', you know, the people who sit next to you in church, the people you know from college or high school, think about Owen and what it must be like to live in our shoes. Do they miss him? Does he even cross their minds as they go about their day; holding their children, complaining about poopy diapers and lack of sleep. Does he enter their thoughts when they take a pregnancy test or go into labor?
Do they remember him when tears stream down my face during all the songs at church? Is he all but forgotten?
What is it like to live in a world where this type of thing only happens to 'other people'? I can't remember...yes, one day, 18 months and some days ago, I was just like them.
Do they think of him at all? Does he matter to anyone but me and my husband?
Are they unaffected?
Is this self centered?
Probably. I am, after all, the center of attention in my own head.
I mention this because I have gotten a couple emails lately. Emails from 'real life' friends who make me a little more willing to venture out into public; to face the crowds of pregnant women and babies; to brave the forgetful and unsympathetic faces of my everyday life...
My heart grows bigger each time I read those words...'I miss Owen too.'