Thursday, May 28, 2009

What is important.

I Will Carry You

I don't always know blogging protocol, but I just needed to share this tonight. I assume, though, that most of you have heard this song. Angie and Todd Smith wrote it after their little girl died the day she was born.

This...this is how I feel.
Some days, I just play it over and over again. Soaking in the words, letting them flow over me. Yes, yes Lord, Owen is safe in Heaven. Who could love him like this?


But if I could do it all over again to hold him for a minute more, I would...

7 comments:

Crissie said...

Oh Ebe - I didn't even make it all the way through... I have absolutely never heard anything so beautiful in all my life and it was more than I can bear tonight. I have been praying and praying and wondering if this trial is going to make me or break me and the thought that came to me the other day is that instead of waiting the traditional 9 months for our twin girls, I will live through a lifetime of pregnancy to be able to hold them forever.

I absolutely know with all my heart that we were chosen to be the mothers of these special, chosen ones and that it will be our greatest blessing... It's just so hard to get through these days, isn't it?

Much love to you and thank you for sharing this. I will try to make it through the rest of the video tomorrow.

xoxoxox

Chris said...

So precious Sweet Babe.
PAPA

Tonya said...

I don't know if I ever told you this, but when I found that song on her blog, it literally changed my life. In a moment! Literally! It made me realize that I was priviledged to be the one chosen to carry Grady and help God fulfill Grady's purpose on this earth, even though his life was only inside of me. It touched me so much that we even played it at his service from our computer because it wasn't out on cd yet. AMAZING and life-changing for me!

Now, I'm off to watch your video....I'm gearing myself up for the tears....

Love you friend!
Tonya

Sara said...

Oh Ebe,
I love that song and to see your sweet precious Owen. I am in tears just thinking of all of the pain that this world brings. It is so hard. I loved seeing your smiling face while you were carrying Owen... pure joy. Beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your sweet boy with us this morning. Blessings on your day. How are seminary plans coming along?
Praying for you right now.
Sara

Anonymous said...

Last night I was reading through Luke and read this:

"God blesses you who weep now, for in due time you will laugh." Luke 6:21b

I immediately thought of you. I thought of all the tears you have shed over the last nearly 19 months, all the pain you have felt and endured. I'm sure this might sound strange, but I was then delighted at the thought of hearing you laugh. Really. I spent *a little too much time* thinking of you being in Heaven with Owen and our Saviour just laughing, and loving, and finally living without pain. And it made me so happy.

Ebe said...

I love, love, love that song too!

Crissie, I know...it's such a great song. But it's soooo much. It's a lot to take in. It is so much like we are pregnant for the rest of our lives- waiting to hold them and be with them again. I've never thought of it that way.

Tonya, I feel the exact same way- hearing Angie put together with words how I was feeling literally changed my whole perspective on grieving Owen's death and celebrating our short time together. It is such a great testimony to our great God...

Sara, thanks for watching my slide show. I loved putting it together and I still love watching it over and over again.
We're still trucking along with applying to seminaries (there are three we're interested in) and will probably visit this summer or in the fall. I guess we're still going next fall. That's soon, isn't it?

Anon, it brings tears to my eyes knowing that someone I've never met thought of Owen and me...I am bursting with joyful anticipation at seeing Owen again. I can't wait for that. Thanks for the beautiful picture of what it will be like!

love,
ebe

Rebecca said...

Dear Ebe~

I couldn't get yours to play from your blog (??). I did manage to go to the site to play it though & got about halfway through before I just couldn't watch any more. I had to come back another day to watch the first video 'I Will Carry You'. What a blessing! Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting that! I keep coming back again & again to your blog & just playing it over and over. Of course I could just watch it on youtube, but I just like visiting your blog & playing it from here better. That song is just the cry of my heart that I could never put into words.....