You hold him in Your arms while the angels sing lullabies of praise and glory, jealous of His love and sacrifice for such a tiny baby; for all His precious ones.
Owen is important, valued, and special. Saying it doesn't make it true. Saying it brings Him glory.
God, gracious and perfect, sacrificed His Son, who was a part of Himself- they had never been separated- to bring His children into a reconciled relationship with Him...to live fully in Heaven with Him after this life on Earth is over.
Owen didn't do anything to make me love him. I loved him because he was mine; my son.
In the same way, Owen (for all that I love and adore him) didn't do anything to cause God to love him. He didn't perform any great works to bring God honor and praise. But God loves him; and that makes him important, valued and special. God loves him.
Today is Mother's Day. Did anyone need a reminder?
A day to celebrate mothers...what does that even look like now?
For me, it looks like:
looking past the cards that didn't come, the phone calls I didn't receive, the forgetfulness of others, the social awkwardness that it is attached to stillbirth and thus my son, the inability of others to walk alongside the grieving;
and focusing on the work of a Son who reconciled me to my Father, loving my own mom and mom-in-law with an imperfect and sometimes selfish love (I know you understand why we disappeared today), celebrating the lives my little ones had here with me and the full lives they live in Heaven, remembering my babies with a mother's love.
By His Spirit, I choose to celebrate their lives. Owen's life. Sweet chipmunk and sunshine too. By His Spirit, I choose to rejoice over the full lives my children have because of Jesus.
And in the midst of my rejoicing, I choose to weep for our great losses and for the separation from our children. I miss them.
Happy Mother's Day, sweet mommies of children in Heaven. Today, they sit in His lap instead of ours...and one day, we'll sit in His lap too.