The beginning of my second trimester. Haven't seen one of those in almost 2 and a half years.
My pregnancy week by week book says to expect to feel movement in the next few weeks. It's been exactly 2 years and 2 weeks since I felt Owen move.
I'm not sure what to expect when I feel this little one's foot kicking my ribs, the same way Owen did when he was alive. Will I be sad, joyful, overwhelmed with grief, anxiety? Will I fall apart?
I'm a little concerned that I may just fall apart when I'm able to feel this baby move. Looking back, I know exactly when Owen died. Will I constantly be waiting for this baby's movement to stop? Will I ever be able to relax when this little one is sleeping? or waking for that matter...
On top of the worries I have because of Owen's death, my history of pregnancy losses, and my medical 'issues', I'm also extremely concerned about staying healthy. The flu that's going around, well the two flus that are going around, have me on the edge. The edge of a total breakdown.
I know you all are praying...thank you.
Please continue to pray for us. Sometimes I can feel my heart stop when I think of losing this baby. Our Father knows the deepest of deep desires of my heart...please pray that I will lean on Him and trust His goodness and love.
This is the first week (I may be speaking ahead of myself) that I haven't called the doctor's office for a heartbeat check. I've been to the office every week since my 5th week of pregnancy. I know my doctor doesn't care and his nursing staff is great, but sometimes, I really hate being that patient. You know, the needy one with all the 'problems' and 'issues', the one that can't relax.
There is a lot going on in our lives, other than growing a life, but it seems that sometimes that's all I can focus on.
Will you also pray for my sweet and supportive husband? There are some things going on in our personal lives that are hard...things that can make him a little tunnel-visioned and pre-occupied. You know, like I can be when I worry about this baby.
He's a great man. I don't praise him enough, but he is really an amazing husband. The kind you dream about when you're a kid. Please pray for resolution, for comfort in the waiting and security in the Lord (security in the world would be nice too, but I doubt that's a worthy prayer request).