Sunday, November 22, 2009

Something on my mind

I've been turning something over and over in my mind for quite some time. The dilemma of making public blogs private is not a new issue. People have their reasons for doing it...I have my reasons for thinking about it, but should I do it?
I just don't know.

I feel like I could be more specific in my prayer requests or maybe even be more honest (did you think that was possible?). I often wonder who's out there...who's reading all my thoughts and fears and wonderings?

This is something I've been thinking about since I started my blog a year ago. Why do people blog? Why did I want to blog? Why am I now blogging about blogging?

Who knows.

Everyone has their reasons, I suppose.
I guess I have mine too.

But my purpose in this post about blogging is to get your opinion on the subject. What do you think about making a public blog private?
What would you do?


Monika said...

I can tell you my reasons of my blogging :-) I have 2 blogs. First is my personal and I do it mainly for my family, relatives and friends, but I like to share it with others, when I speak about faith or scrapbooking. Second blog is only christians and this is why I do it publicly.

If you want to change your public blog to private, it is your choice. But one reason for not doing it is, that your story and your thoughts can help somebody, who need it...who is in same situation.

But it´s up to you, so every decision is good decision :-)))

Oh and I have to congratulate you to your second trimester!!! Take care!

Leah Lane said...


You have no idea who I am but I am friends with Tonya and have started reading your blog. I have SO loved praying for you and for Tonya. I am not the kind of person who blogs but with what you are going through this is my opinion...The more people who know, the more people can pray!! I am praying safety over you and your baby daily!

God bless,

Leah Lane

Erika said...

i have two blogs- one is a "family" blog for anyone and everyone to read...the other ( is related to the loss of my twin girls and my feelings on that. i took that one out of my public profile b/c i didn't want a lot of people we know IRL misinterpreting my thoughts...and i don't know, i just wanted to be more private about it.

i did go private for a little while, but i found i missed that connection with others so i went back to being public.

i found when i was private, many people wanted to read my blog but the fact that they had to "log in" each time made it so they didn't visit. and i missed them!

i do censor myself more than i would if i were private, but i think it's okay for me.

i have found the support of the babyloss community to be amazing...and that is the main reason why i am still public (blogger will only let you add 100 private people to your blog).

Many hugs to you!!! (((hugs)))


Anna said...

My blog is public, but there are (as far as I know) only two people I've ever actually met/know IRL who read/know about it (besides my husband who I'm pretty sure doesn't read it). One is my dad (and he may have forgotten about it already) and the other is a mom who I met at at a weekend retreat for those who've lost babies. I don't think I censor myself too much, but I definitely keep it in the back of my mind that there is a possibility someone from "real life" could read it.

Don't know if that helps you at all, but best of luck making your decision.

Love, Hugs & Prayers

Freya said...

Hello Ebe,
I too, do not know you personally but have been really helped by your blog. I started out reading a different grieving mother's blog but she was so reserved that I didn't get much out of it. After finding yours, I've really been helped in my time of grief by reading all of your, admittedly, very honest thoughts and feelings throughout your experience. Your blog is a gift to me and (from the comments I've read) to others as well.
Interestingly, reading your blog has made me want to start blogging (I haven't) but just the idea that I could share all of these things inside of me and that they might help some person that I've never met but just happens to also be a Christian and be going through the same thing at the same time is really neat--you know?
G-d doesn't have similar things happen to people at similar times for no reason, He does everything totally purposefully, and it's been such a relief to me when, even though no one around me can empathize with me, I know you can, and I don't even need to talk with you, I just know you do. Like that Proverb that says, "each heart knows its own grief..." (that's a paraphrase) I know that your heart knows the grief that I feel and that is a comfort to me.
Anyway, I personally wouldn't make it private and trust that G-d is doing good through the faithful witness you bear to other mothers who find themselves with empty arms at the end of the day.

Tricia said...

I feel a bit like a stalker writing on here, but I wanted to let you know that although I don't know you, I enjoy following your blog and reading what's going on in your heart. I have a dear, sweet friend that lost her precious little girl at 36 weeks and although I can never understand it all, reading your blog has made me more aware of some of the feelings that she might be struggling through. I totally understand the thought of going private (I have a very not kept up with blog that is private, more because my mom was so concerned about it than anything), but I do want to let you know that your blog has helped me as I seek to love my friend.

paige said...

you don't know me either...
i read your blog because i like your heart. i love watching people wrestle out their faith despite circumstances that have proven painful.
i blog for myself, to help me remember (i'm pg with #7 & wonder if i'll ever remember all the beauty that has gone on in these precious, crazy years) i blog to get ideas down, to share my faith & to work through the things that God is working through in my life & heart. i *started* blogging to have a place to keep all my ideas about prolife - but it has morphed into something that as a stay at home mama, means so much to me. It's an outlet for creativity, for gratitude, for prayer & even for community - in this season when i'm so often surrounded by children, but feeling lonesome.

i hope you don't go private - but just 'cause i'm selfish & have so enjoyed following your passionate journey & the way that you have lovingly mothered your son from afar... (i have 2 heavenly babes too - a son i lost at 16 weeks & a little one i lost at 12 weeks). But, it's tough to leave your underbelly exposed & i can totally understand if you had a need or a motivation to go private. My .02c.

Rebecca said...

I don't think I would ever change my blog to private unless I was having some sort of 'privacy' issue like stalking or concern for my family's safety or someone hacking my blog. I think I fall into an unusual category because I had started my blog long before my life radically changed because of grief. I have noticed that many people start their blogs because of their experience.

I just take the tack of being as forthright as possible while being careful not to mention names so I don't offend. If people don't like what they read, they can move on to another blog. I think you have an amazing testimony and are a great witness. You live your Christianity in an authentic way, not sugar-coating the hand that you've been dealt.

And I still love reading :>)

Emily said...

To minister to others on-line, a public blog is more "effective."

If privacy is at all an issue for you, then I wouldn't hesitate to have a "private" blog to share particularly personal photos and thoughts.

Regardless, there are many of us out here who haven't met you who are praying for you and sweet little May baby.

Vanessa said...

You don't know me either Ebe, but I have felt a "connection" with your experience through reading your blog. I lost my son Matthew to anencephaly 14 months ago (he died one hour after birth at term) and read several blogs from grieving mothers. It helps me feel normal and understood by others who have had similar experiences.
Vanessa in Australia

Rachael Boer said...

I read because I have never experienced a loss like yours, but I want to be prepared when/if I do. I want to grieve with hope, like you do. I want to process it all in light of the cross, like you do. I want to be honest about the pain, yet live in light of the gospel, like you do. I am provoked by your example and my faith is strengthened by your faith. Thank you for sharing your heart with strangers like me; I have been helped so much to see your passionate love for the Savior in the midst of your trials. Whatever you decide to do is of course up to you, but know that at least one "stranger" is grateful your blog is public.

Ebe said...

Thank you for all your comments. It was nice to hear from those of you who read, but don't usually comment. I really appreciate your thoughts and it has helped me to remember the importance of why we blog- to glorify God and encourage each other to keep moving forward.


Post Tenebras Lux said...

I don't know if you can tell, but I'm reading through your archives =). I'd ask you: please don't go private. Your posts are helping me get through.