Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Her name was Allison. She was 15. She died the summer before our sophomore year.
I missed her funeral. I didn't even know that she had died until the services were over. My friends left the news on our home answering machine. These were the days before cell phones, and we had been out of town for a few weeks.

I have found myself thinking of her so often since Owen's death.

I'm not going to exaggerate how close we were back then. We were friends, not best friends, but friends all the same. Teenage girls with some things in common, girls who hung out and talked about boys and first kisses. I had just moved to a different state when she died. She was one of the only people who wrote me after I moved. I kept her letters.
In the months after she died, I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she was gone. My life was drastically different anyways- living a few states away from the aftermath, and I'm sure I didn't feel the hole as acutely as our other friends did.

I want to call her parents and tell them I still remember her. I want to tell them everything I remember about her. Her laugh, her intimidating intelligence, the time she told me that dating an older guy didn't mean she was going to have sex with him...I remember that conversation very clearly. We were standing on the front lawn of our church, the sun was going down and we were taking a break from the dinner the youth group had put on. She seemed so much older than I was. I looked up to her in a lot of ways. I was shy, but she was never afraid to voice her opinion.

I want to call her parents and tell them that their beloved daughter is important and remembered. Her life was special and invaluable.

You're probably wondering where this post came from... I'll admit that I check my sitemeter occasionally and tonight (rather early this morning) I saw that someone from Allison's hometown visited here yesterday. And one of the few people that came to mind when I saw the town listed was Allison. I want to tell her parents that too.


Sara said...

Ebe, you have NEVER said anything that ever made me feel like I was grieving wrong... I don't think you could... I know you get it.

What a sweet post... I bet her parents would love and appreciate that you still think about their precious daughter. Wouldn't it touch our hearts if someone said that about Samuel or Owen 10 years from now? I think it would be incredible. You have such a sweet heart, always thinking and noticing others... I love that about you. Praying you are feeling well, Praying for you and sweet baby girl:)

The Blue Sparrow said...

Oh Ebe, I bet her parents would love to know these things. Maybe one day, youll get that chance, or maybe they are the readers from your sitemeter. Who knows but I bet she is smiling down on you each time you rememeber. *HUGS*

Susan said...

So sweet. When I was a freshman in high school one of my friends died. I think of her all the time, even still. I think it is really beautiful that you want to tell her parents all those things. I wonder what my friend's parents would say if I did the same.

Denise said...

Maybe you could write Allison's parents a letter, sharing some of your "grief" journey (in case they don't know) and you could also tell them these lovely memories you cherish of their daughter. Probably a letter would be better because then you would have time to collect and compose your thoughts and they would be able to re-read it and it could bring comfort more than once... they might be so shocked with a telephone call that you could get total silence or an abrupt response. Maybe you could enclose your phone number in the letter and let them know you're there and would love to talk to them, if they desire. Go for it... it sounds to me like God's soft prompting to reach out... Denise in Canada.

Ebe said...

I would love to write her parents a letter, unfortunately, since we moved and have moved a few more times since then (13 years ago) I have lost track of all my friends from there. I'm not on facebook, though that would seem the easiest way to find out where they are and if they've moved.

I appreciate all your comments and love. Sara, I agree- I would love to hear someone tell me 10 years from now that they remember Owen and think of him often.