Okay, call me crazy if you want (because I am) but I have been playing this game with Chris where we count backwards how many weeks we have until our scheduled amnio and see what we were doing then. It helps give me some perspective on how long we have to wait.
So, counting backwards 7 weeks... guess what I was doing this night 7 weeks ago?
I can't believe it's been 7 weeks since I met Sara over at Tonya's house. What a wonderful night that was, though it was much too short a meeting. Sara, I wish you could come back in 7 weeks...
Thank you all so so much for your encouraging words on my last post. I've been having more frequent 'scary' days lately. Not that anything scary has happened, but I've been having days where the fear just takes over. I hate it.
Today, we had our first NST. Hannah Mae passed and the NP said she looks very healthy. I am so thankful.
My heart, though, feels heavy tonight as I just can't be content in the moment. I want to enjoy this moment with Hannah Mae. I want to enjoy her precious kicks and nudges. She's had such a bouncy day and it's so funny to think what she must be doing in there to make all that racket. But I find myself lost in worry and fear instead. I'm sorry that I sound like a broken record. It is frustrating even for me to listen to myself at times.
Jennifer commented on the last post with a verse that was so providential. Chris wrote it on a post-it note and stuck it on our dresser a few weeks ago. He's been repeating it to me over and over. I guess I needed to hear it again.
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31: 8
Before I go, Chris just told me that I should put up the picture that he took earlier today. He thinks he's so funny.
We went out to get a pizza ($5 pizza night at Papa Johns!) and I, well, first I almost went out of the house with my fuzzy white bedroom slippers on, but noticed before I got outside that I needed shoes. So, I opened the closet door and without turning on the light, I stuck my feet into the first two shoes I could feel. I assumed they were the same pair I had been wearing earlier because they were the closest to get to. Alas, they weren't. Well, one of them was. And the other was a completely different shoe.
And Chris, being the loving husband that he is, wouldn't let me change without laughing hysterically at me and making me pose for a picture. So, here it is. A little levity for you all.