I didn't intend to be offline for the past four days, but I've been occupied by a less than pleasant sickness.
But, first off, I wanted to say thank you so much for your love and prayers and support. I am overwhelmed. I still have a lot of catching up to do (google reader, emails), so if you haven't heard from me, I'm sorry and I'm trying...
Hannah Mae continues to be her normal active self, giving us no more scares. She's doing really well. Our impromptu trip to L & D last Thursday did, however, give me more than I bargained for. This is just an assumption (but a good educated guess), but I think I picked up the stomach flu nastiness while there. Talk about the last thing I wanted after having such an emotional two days.
Friday night, Chris and I were so emotionally drained but we knew that we needed to be with 'our people', you know? People who really really get you... they don't have to try to understand because they've lived it. So, Chris called Josh and we basically invited ourselves over to their house. They were so gracious to us and welcomed us into their home for dinner. We had such a good time. It was so good to sit with Miranda and talk about the fear and worry, the hope and anticipation. Things that most people truly don't grasp the depth of; how overwhelming, all encompassing and paralyzing the fear for your child's life can be when you KNOW exactly what it feels like to live after the death of a child.
I love holding their son, Elijah. He gives me so much hope for Hannah Mae. He's getting so big too! It's hard to believe he's 12 weeks old! I remember his cute little 1 day old face...
Chris and Josh both actually fell asleep on the couch watching the Olympics while Miranda and I chatted in the kitchen. Elijah got up a little before midnight for his bottle and then we decided that it was probably time we stopped imposing on our dear friends. *sigh* It was a blessed night indeed.
After we got home and in bed, I started feeling pretty weird. Kind of cold and sweaty, and a little nauseated. I shook it off, thinking that all the emotional craziness had affected me physically.
But... no. It was the stomach flu. To say the least, it wasn't a very fun weekend. I was so worried about Josh and Miranda, especially little Elijah. I really hated to think that I had made them sick. Praise God, they aren't.
We've talked to Dr. Wonderful a few times since Saturday and he reassured us that while I was really sick, that Hannah was fine and wasn't affected by my nastiness. I worried about her a lot, but I am so thankful to God that she was active and in her normal routine the whole time.
I kept thinking it would just be a 24 hour thing, then I thought, no okay, it will be a 48 hour thing- I can do that, right? 72 hours (more than that now) have passed and I am finally feeling better.
If you can believe it, it's been a good 8 years since I've had the stomach bug/flu and I've realized a few things about myself through these fun times... I can handle pain. I have a high pain tolerance on one condition- just don't let it last longer than 10-12 hours. After 24 hours, my whiny-poor-me switch gets flipped and after 48 hours, I'm a complete mess. Poor Chris. Yes, you should definitely feel sorry for him. In the five years we've been married, this is the sickest I've ever been and he handled everything like a pro. And praise God, he's not gotten sick. After taking care of me, I think he's really thankful to be well (he's also really thankful for apple cider vinegar, which I recommend whole-heartedly for those of you exposed to a stomach bug).
I'm not sure there's much I can say to express my gratitude to you who walk this scary, exciting, anxiety ridden and hope filled road with us. Thank you so much. Does putting it in italics make it more tangible? I hope so.
My friend, L., told me this past week that it feels like I've been pregnant with Hannah Mae FOREVER. It has been a long road, hasn't it? 9 weeks: 63 more days to go. I know you're all ready to see her sweet little face too. I can't wait to share her with you.