Monday, April 19, 2010

The Glad Game

When I was little, one of my favorite movies was Pollyanna. Have you seen it? It always made me happy, and I always cried at the end. One of the things that makes Pollyanna so endearing is her attitude. She plays 'The Glad Game' in just about every situation, looking for the bright side of unhappy or hard things.  I am so not Pollyanna.
But this week I am trying to play 'The Glad Game' regardless.

Hannah Mae produced yet another wonderful strip today during her NST. She's a sweet little wiggly girl who always manages to move just far enough away from the monitor to annoy the nurse, who has to readjust it. I am measuring 33.5 weeks, which is not too bad (I'm 34 weeks 2 days based on my doctor's EDD). Last week I was measuring 29.5 weeks, so I guess Hannah Mae had turned sideways or was balled up last week when I got measured.

The date for our amnio keeps getting shifted around and after discussing it today, Dr. Wonderful said he's going to talk to my high risk OB about doing it at 36 weeks 5 days or 36 weeks 6 days. This puts the amnio on May 6 or 7.
Not the 4th.

Seriously, I know... what's the difference in two or three days? Well, from where I'm sitting it feels like forever. 

BUT I'm trying really hard to have some perspective and not completely freak out. If it's better for Hannah Mae, then I will gladly do it. I'm just struggling to believe that nothing will happen out of God's hands and just because we're waiting a few days doesn't mean that something will happen to her if we don't induce on Tuesday the 4th.

God is sovereign. 

I've been praying for my doctors since I first got pregnant- that they would have wisdom and discernment. I need to trust them. Based on past experiences, this is almost impossible to do. With God, it is doable.

Dr. Wonderful told me to behave myself this week and give my mind a rest. I laughed. hard.
The good thing about God is that I don't have to perform in order for him to be faithful to me. He is faithful because of his character, not because I deserve it.

But, it is good advice to try to give my mind a break. The stress and worry and anxiety and fear and craziness is exhausting and doesn't do a darn thing.

I finished Hannah's laundry tonight. Well, it's finished until her shower on the 1st. Everything is put away in her dresser and organized neatly. I love opening up the drawers and looking at them... all pink and precious. We put the pack n play in our room. It's the perfect size for our bedroom and has a convenient changing table on top. We decided to leave the crib disassembled until our move in August. Our tiny one bedroom apartment is already bursting at the seams.

I've made a good dent on my to-do list, but I keep adding to it so it seems to be never-ending. I haven't finished her quilt yet, but it is definitely on my list for tomorrow. I have been working on her scrapbook though. I also finished Owen's scrapbook last week. It's wonderful, if I do say so myself. I worked on it for probably 5 hours straight. It goes from March 2007 when we found out we were pregnant up until his 2nd birthday. Each year, I plan on adding pictures from what we did to celebrate his birthday and remember him that year.

Hannah Mae had her first shower over the weekend. Chris' family threw us a shower on Saturday. It was really fun and a sweet time. I was nervous going at first... showers just aren't the same anymore... but once I got there, I relaxed and had a good time.

This is one of my favorite pictures, taken a week ago.
I laughed so hard it hurt. And it felt good.


Sara said...

You look beautiful Ebe... I love to see that smile and to know you were laughing brings this friends heart joy:)

Ebe, I will continue praying each and every morning for you... for sweet Hannah Mae and for your precious heart and mind. Take every thought captive sweet friend... Remember how much He loves you. He made you precious and continues to knit that little one together inside of you, each and everylast detail.

I love that you are doing a a photo album for Owen... we did one online,but I like the idea of adding what you did for his birthdays and such... He is still a beautiful part of your family just like sweet Samuel.

Love you Ebe, praying like crazy for the 3 of you!

heather ryan morse said...

i love seeing you laughing!! jackson is sitting on my lap..and he saw owen on your blog and keeps saying "baby" and pointing at him. He knows baby owen :)

Rebecca said...

I love the picture of you too (two)!! Thank God for being faithful even if we can't always follow orders, eh? You are loved!


Chris said...

I love you Precious Babe. It is so amazing to see the faithfulness of Jesus to see how He is sanctifying you into one who understands His love and faithfulness to you is out of His character and not your performance, into one who believes that He is our only source of true Joy, and we were made for that Joy. As we read in Hannah Mae's Jesus Storybook Bible, we are beautiful because He loves us.