Thursday, January 20, 2011

What is Hannah Mae doing these days II?

The sweet babblings and squeals of an eight month old baby fill both our hearts and our little apartment. 

Hannah is crawling up a storm these days. She starting getting around really well just in time for the new year. She has also learned how to get on her bottom from her belly. Essentially, I guess she has learned how to sit. But that sounds like I'm talking about a dog, doesn't it?

We have been trying to encourage her to wave hello and goodbye, but I'm not sure she quite gets it yet. She can do it, but it looks kind of like she's hitting herself. Milk is still the only sign she can do, and she does it all the time. It's really cute, especially since I'm pretty sure she means mommy when she does it. 

About a week ago, Hannah started pulling herself up to her knees and then a few short days later, she learned how to get from her knees to her feet. She uses anything and everything to help her stand, which is scary because she has no fear of falling. Gravity makes no sense to her. We've had some bumps and falls, but (as much as I'd like to shield her from everything) I guess that's a part of learning. 

Hannah has just started eating two solids meals a day. She's really getting into this whole solid food thing. I made fresh peas yesterday (cooked, blanched, pureed and then strained) and they were a huge hit, which was really gratifying considering all the work that went into it. : ) Even Chris thought they were tasty, and he hates peas. 
Last night, Hannah ate 2 ounces of peas and then a half of banana. That's the most she's ever eaten at one time. I thought for sure we might be seeing some of it again later on, but it was all good- thankfully.

Sleep has been frustrating, but we're working on it. I'm beginning to think that some babies just aren't ready to sleep through the night until they're older, and that Hannah may be one of those babies. She was an unbelievably and thankfully good napper until this week. The whole 'I can get to my bottom without help' thing is super fun to do when you're not in the mood to sleep and crying in your crib. Chris kept going in there this morning to put her on her back, and she kept popping right back up, so we let her fall asleep that way. I went in and moved her to a more comfortable sleeping position when I was sure she was asleep. It is times like these that I am so thankful for the video monitor we received at our baby shower! I've got to say, though, that watching a baby nod and fall asleep in a sitting position is pretty funny/cute/sad.

My heart is so full these days, and I know it goes without saying to those of you who understand, but there is never pure joy in my heart. But it's not tempered joy either.
It's hard to explain, but it is joy and sorrow and love and longing and peace and longing.

And longing.

And oh so much joy.

And fun.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Dear sweet Gage

went to Heaven to be with Jesus and his older sister, Morgan. My heart is aching for Anna and honestly, I'm struggling with some anger too. But Gage is safe, and healthy and whole now- I am thankful for that, but it doesn't change the heartache or the grief.
Please pray for Anna and her husband, Chris.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Grief in a new year

First off, I should probably apologize for all the self analyzing that will follow in this post. I've said before that I feel like I've lost my voice, and well, I feel a little bit like I've lost my place in this blogging world as well. I don't know why exactly.
Though my grief journey has changed since bringing Hannah Mae home, I am still grieving, still walking down this road, and I still need this place.

But some things have changed. When I want to write about my grief or sadness, I feel guilty (and mean?) for sharing. I don't feel like I can share; though no one has made me feel like I can't, the feelings are still there.


I'm starting to get on my own nerves. 

How many posts have you starting writing and then never hit publish? This may be one of those posts. 

The January blues always hit when I least expect them.

Another sweet blogging friend is in need of prayers... Sara, who is pregnant with her adorable Levi, has been admitted into the hospital for high blood pressure. Please send her some love. 

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Our friend, Gage

The other day I asked for prayers for my blogging friend, Anna, who was on bed rest at the hospital. Her little boy, Gage, was born at 25 weeks 4 days and is currently in the NICU. Please pray for her baby boy, and send some love and encouragement her way.