Bitterness, jealousy, anger, why, why, why....
You'd think that after three and a half years I would be 'over it', right?
Yeah, not so much. I still struggle with those feelings of jealousy and bitterness that I used to blog about so often. Jealousy over things that seem so easy for other people, things they never worry about, things taken for granted. It's sometimes very hard to remain calm and not slowly combust. Sometimes it's all I can do not to internalize everything and make someone else's struggles about me or compare experiences. Sounds selfish, doesn't it? Oh, it is.
I can only assume that everyone else does this too, in some area or another. Relationships in the here and now are hard. Made strained and tense by sin. All of our sins.
Bitter, jealous, angry...
I don't always feel this way, and for that, I'm very thankful.
But on the days when I feel eaten alive with jealousy and bitterness, God's unending grace is big enough. And on the days when I don't feel eaten alive, that's God's grace too.