Thursday, March 22, 2012

7 things

1. I went to sleep last night composing a brilliant journal entry in my head. Or at least, it seemed brilliant at the time. I guess a lot things sound better at midnight than they do at nine in the morning.

2. I finally updated my other blog yesterday. It has been a while. I'm not sure where this blog will go, but it will most likely end up being a journal of my thoughts about how/why we are making changes in our lifestyle.

3. I have to sit down and write about my conversation with a seminary professor about blessings soon. It was such a great talk and it has helped me look at blessings differently.

4. I have been experimenting with my diet lately. I'm trying to find what is bothering me (my head, fatigue, digestion, skin trouble), but it's proving to be difficult. It's not that we eat all that unhealthy, so cutting out things that are not bad for me is hard. I have been (sort of) off gluten for a couple of weeks. I can definitely feel a difference when I have eaten wheat. But the big problem is that it (experimenting with my diet) is triggering some old feelings about food.
I had an eating disorder in college. One that made something as simple as making a snack almost impossible. I remember that I used to hide "food" (sugar free/fat free diet bars) in my closet and eat alone in my room. I have not struggled with those old feelings about food in a long while. It has been amazing to eat without thoughts of calories or negative feelings about myself, and I am so thankful.
So now that I am making a conscious effort to cut out foods (I think it's called an elimination diet) I have been having a hard time making myself eat at all. I mean, I still eat (I have checks and balances in place in case you're worried about me). It's just more complicated to eat now that I'm trying not to eat wheat or so much diary. Boo.

5. HM, Chris and I watched the new Muppet movie last night. It was one of the most fun nights we've had in a while. I cuddled up to Chris on the row (HM's word for rug), and HM laid on my chest. *sigh* I never thought I'd have it so good. HM is such a big cuddler these days. She is quite specific about where she wants my hands/arms to be, and last night I almost melted when she took my arms and hugged them around herself.

6. HM now calls me mommy half the time (and mama the other half). My heart could burst with love every time she calls for me.

7. Spring is here again. And can you believe that our HM will be two next month???!!


Keisha Valentina said...

Oh! She is beautiful!!!

Open Air said...

She is so adorable! I love how she calls you Mommy--that must just melt your heart! Just precious...
All the best, sweet friend!

Freya said...

She's so big, Ebe! I should send you a picture of Ephram, our little boy, he's about 7 months! And he's huge. I understand about the food thing, it's hard to live in this world and not struggle with something like that. But ultimately, God cares about our hearts, which is nice. Also, in your decision making, I encourage you to ask God for wisdom about how to go--James says he gives it generously to all without finding fault. Thanks for the update!

Tesha said...

What a beautiful little girl. I saw your comment on Sara's blog and came over. We said goodbye to our sixth child on 1-24-12, it has been the trail of my life. I am happy to connect with other baby loss mom's. I am so very sorry about your precious Owen he is beautiful!